It has been turning forever. What goes up must come down spinning wheel got to go round Talking ‘bout your troubles it’s a crying sin Ride a painted pony Let the spinning wheel spin Without wishing to deny other departments their well-deserved days in the sun, describing the perennially dysfunctional Home Affairs requires an entirely new view of space-time. Its course can best be plotted in polar co-ordinates, where unlike in cartesian geometry, straight lines are represented as circles, like the lines of latitude and longitude that encircle the earth.

But wait. New Home Affairs minister Nkosazana Dlamini- Zuma has promised something bold: admittedly, her department is in a shocking state, but she will clean it up, and make sure delayed projects are completed.