Imagine you’re the president of a country, a great country, such a great country. You’re good at golf, probably the best, and you love Twitter – so much so, you even tweeted out your password once. However, you’re ridiculed by half of your electorate; damn those liberal lefties. Also much of the mainstream media lies about you, so you’ve developed a catchy term for their false stories.

One of the issues the pesky media and opposition politicians keep hounding you for is access to your historic tax returns from when you were a younger playboy businessman. So what if you made a loss for a couple of years? You’re just being smart for keeping that a secret.